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Negativity Is The Default

The sad truth about humanity is most of us carry negative thoughts and emotions throughout our days, months, years, and lifetimes. Sure we might experience a few thrills and excitement but not nearly enough. There are studies revealing numbers like 80% of our thoughts are negative – 95% of those are repetitive. This basically puts most of us in the anxiety disorder bracket. That’s pretty serious if you ask me. 

From personal experience, I know I used to carry around small amounts of anxiety concerning even the most mundane things; did I buy enough groceries, how are tomorrow’s tasks going to be done, I need to clean the apartment, etc. These few examples of the smallest things can be a mild anxious experience – yet we regard these negative impulses as the norm. 

The Collective Trap

Most folks experience social anxiety even at an older age. You know that small feeling of dread right before you enter an apartment where there’s a pre-party. There are new co-workers at your job you need to cooperate with. You start to ask yourself if they will like you. If you are enough. The need to get the group’s acceptance creeps up in your thoughts and feelings like a virus – often at a lightning speed. We are so accustomed to it we take it as a given.

 The most bizarre thing about this mentality is that we don’t even know if these new people are even worth your attention and energy. They might be low-value personalities. The truth is most people you will meet are completely average. Not some royalty on a red carpet.

“Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally.” – Kamand Kojouri 

If you don’t show any fear or insecurity in social spaces such as work and leisure – some people might envy your confidence even try to cut you down. You will meet personalities who live and die with the group. There’s a phenomenon called “Tall-Poppy-Syndrome.” It’s a tendency to discredit individuals who have achieved high status and moved up a station in life. 

The truth is there are many personalities out there with low self-esteem which in turn generates jealousy and envy. You need to cultivate a rock-solid inner world and get used to navigating all social aspects in life. Don’t take on the mind virus of the tribe.

Social Media and Entertainment 

Social media is a negative element in our modern lives. Facebook, Twitter, and to some degree Instagram – has turned into a political landscape. We love to engage in thrilling debates, to push our own opinion, to win an argument. To find peers with whom we share views and ideas. From what I’ve seen – in the end, its all just a waste of time and energy. It’s no secret that these platforms are designed to get us hooked. I personally use Instagram for inspiration and art.  

The industry of video games is a billion-dollar industry and is only growing. There is a number of grown men participating in gaming. 50-year-old gamers, can you imagine that? That’s our reality. When I grew up in the 90s you wouldn’t find a man in their late 20’s spending time in front of the Super Nintendo. Its an indication of how good the creators have become at getting us hooked. 

The highest-ranking video games are the ones with the most violence and murder. In other words – the most negative ones, the ones with the most thrilling ups and downs. We should be cultivating positivity, how we can contribute value, mentor, and help one another. Not how to kill. 

The Battle For Your Attention

We live in the information age – with that there are new obstacles we have to overcome. That is if you want to escape mediocrity. Most people are hit with 6,000-10,000 ads each day. The majority through handheld devices and computers. If you have read books on marketing you will find there are techniques employed to work on your ego and insecurities. On your feelings of lack and self-worth, not measuring up. Keeping up with the Joneses – and all that other bullshit. 

Marketing strategies are designed to both create and feed off of negative thoughts and feelings. If the ads are considered any good they will have you realize there are things you didn’t know you wanted but want now. Ads are designed to continuously mold you into being a consumer, and keeping it that way. You will see these kinds of ads on your average YouTube influencer too.

Energy Drain 

What we don’t hear often is the energy drain negativity causes; especially emotional energy. I keep remembering how a friend of mine talked about how his mom looked like she aged 10 years in just a few weeks because she was in court over a money dispute with her ex-husband. If you have ever worked in sales you will have experienced the constant burning of emotional energy leaving you too tired to do anything else after a day’s work. 

The constant worrying and anxious states deplete the body of energy. The energy we could channel into productivity, energy which could be used to realize our dreams. 

Self Esteem

Again we see the paretos law in action. It is estimated 85% of the population suffers from low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are said to be driven by fear and anxiety. Have difficulty setting goals for themselves, and if they set goals they are drastically lowered to fit their expectations of what they deserve in life. The goals being set are usually familiar and undemanding. Low self-esteem can even cause us to sabotage our own achievements in the longterm – this is subconscious. 

High self-esteem individuals are driven by positive impulses, with a need to explore and challenge themselves. They usually set goals that require them to grow as human beings – goals that will make them evolve in life. The goals are driven by excitement and exploration, not the need to prove their self-worth to themselves or others.  

Filling Your Mind 

Our minds need nourishment too. But the average joe often fills it with junk food. TV, maybe a few hours in front of the computer or his phone. Reading mindless articles designed to entertain and keep attention rather than provide you with anything worthy of thought. Want to live your life in mediocrity? Then do what most of the population does. Want to become exceptional? Then do what most won’t.

“If you dont program yourself – life will program you” – Les Brown

The single most important thing I have ever done in life is becoming an avid reader, over the months and years of reading non-fiction books your outlook and mind will slowly start to change. You will separate yourself from the herd. You will start to cultivate positive thoughts – become inspired. Reading good books will allow you to have the courage to dream big and actually push you to take steps towards your dreams. Biographies will reveal that we are all cut from the same cloth. What one man can do you can do. These are cliches but nevertheless the truth.

I truly believe that input will determine the output. Start by filling your mind with positive suggestions and reinforcement every day.

If you are not used to reading books – set a timer for say 15 minutes of reading in your bed at night. Work yourself up to 1 hour a day. You will not regret it. 

Benjamin Franklin’s Transformation

Mr.Franklin achieved a lot in his life. But it’s not his public victories which should impress you, it was his dedication to self-improvement. I have stressed the importance of reading – well to no surprise he was an avid reader. What’s more interesting if you ask me is that he dedicated himself to transform his qualities as a man.

He dedicated himself to develop 13 virtues. He carried cards with him and focused on developing one virtue for one week at a time. Every time he failed practicing the chosen quality he would note it down in his ledger.

He is not the only one which dedicated himself to moral perfection as he called it. The Samurai had their bushido code. Aristotle had his 12 virtues which he practiced. This is a practice you don’t see that often today. 

Old Habits Die Easy

“Learn to subdue, to purify, to order all your thoughts. Fight against all negative thoughts and doubts. Let sublime thoughts come to you from every side. Thoughts of depression, failure, weakness, darkness, doubts, fear etc. are negative thoughts. Cultivate positive thoughts of strength, courage, love, contentment, and cheerfulness. The negative thoughts will disappear. “ – Swami Sivananda

You will simply replace negative emotions with positive ones. This is a 24 hour endeavour, but will slowly change your personality and self-image. All you have to do is ignore negative impulses, do not engage in worry or anxiety about anything. Even the slightest thing. Over time their intensity will diminish. Next step is to replace negatives with positives. Examples could be – will they think im awkward or weird? I am a great person to be around. Am I coming off as creepy? They should be thrilled to get to know me. How am I going to perform today at work? Everything will take care of itself, just do one task at a time. Am I behind on my bills? I have always made it so far, this too will work itself out. 

This approach is so simple, it will spread like a positive virus in you,  and will start to transform your character. You will start to catch attitudes and behaviors you didnt think you had. Realize we all carry alot of beliefs and values that are not really our own to begin with. They have come from peers and family members. You know the saying – you are the average of the 5 people you hang around with. It is true – so maybe have a look around you to see if you are dealing with negative personalities which you dont need in life. If this approach seems too basic you could have a look at Neuro-Linguistic-Programming which contains strategies to change your inner world.  

We have become a narcissistic society, many of us carry around huge egoes about our personalities, success, and achievements. My advice to you is to not take yourself or anything in your life too seriously. Do not let anything in life disturb your inner state. Practice detachment. Work towards your goals and dreams – but know that it might take several tries and a ton of failures before they are realized. Do not attach your inner world to any outcome in life. Master this and you are above the average.

What You Think Is What You Become

Visualization is a common practice among star athletes, but its origins are ancient. It is a common strategy in eastern philosophy. Here is how to do it – imagine yourself in first person as already have achieved the outcome you seek in life. It is mostly used by dreamers who want materialistic things in life, such as a sports car, or a big mansion.

“Sow a thought, you reap an action. Sow an action, you reap a habit. Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, you reap a destiny.” – Swami Sivananda

What you dont see that often is that it can be used to transform yourself. Set of a few minutes everyday to visualize yourself with the attributes you wish to have. Healthy, confident, funny, strong, powerful, you name it. Visualize it – and in time it will be so.

Conclusion

This became a few words longer than I had anticipated. Be aware of the obstacles in becoming positive. I personally employ the strategies mentioned and can attest that they work. Overcome the initial resistance to work with these techniques and make it a habit. See you at the top. 

I have been searching the web for celibacy and semen retention videos. Many of them talk about the benefits such as confidence, deeper voice, female attraction, improved mood swings, etc.
From one that has gone 5 years + without even a single emission or wet dream – most of these benefits you read about are bullshit. You can’t just stop jerking off and looking at porn and expect to raise your energy and station in life. There’s a right way and wrong way to practice semen retention.

During my 5 years, I have experienced poor confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, and even depression. In fact, I have been diagnosed with a mental condition. All of these things have happened to me while being celibate. Until I started practicing sexual transmutation the right way.

Benefits & Myths

I have written a short article about the myths in celibacy. It covers what I have done that is against the guidelines given out by yogis and other spiritual figures. You don’t need to become a vegan. You don’t need to give up red meat or spicy food. Tobacco use does not interfere with semen retention, etc. Since I already covered this I won’t go on here. If you have any questions, leave them in the comment area.

Let’s look at some of the benefits people on the internet will claim. 

• Social confidence
• Magnetic personality
• Willpower
• Sexually attractive
• Change in perspective towards the opposite sex
• You will start glowing
• Deeper voice

These are all myths and I call bullshit – now don’t get me wrong. These are benefits of walking the path. But not after 30 or 90 days. I suspect these semen retention personalities want more clicks on their video. What you will find is that most of these YouTube celibates are parroting the benefits written down by Indian and Chinese spiritual traditions. But they have not been practicing long enough or correct to actually experience it. 

You are not doing it right

It is important right off the bat – semen retention alone will not fix your problems in life. In fact, it will have little to no effect by just retaining. This includes all the videos you see on Youtube. Where they boast of retaining everywhere between 30 to 90 days.

There is a physical component to retaining, there is a point where the body uses semen retention as an energy source. But it is so subtle that you won’t realize it until you have had an emission. And it takes a few more days than 90 to reach this point.

Let’s talk about what real celibacy is not. 

If you are using semen retention as a means to become magnetic and land more lays you are not doing it right. It is most likely a placebo effect too.

If you are still jerking off but not to the point of climax you are not doing it right and you are still using sexual energy. 

If you are engaging in lustful thoughts and feelings during your day you are not doing it right.

If you look at women on the street to check them out you are not doing it right. 

Wet Dreams

Are you celibate if you have wet dreams? Yes, but there is still the possibility of an energy loss during wet dreams. Not as dramatic as if you had a conscious emission. I remember having wet dreams that left me feeling weak and ill for two consecutive days. 

The problem with wet dreams is that it reignites the lust and passion for sex. Any orgasm or emission will do that to different degrees. But the celibate man will mistake his wet dream as a defeat because of the ill effects he might feel and fall back to ground zero and start over again.

I am here to tell you that if you continue despite having wet dreams they will in time stop altogether. Nobody starts off with 100% transmutation – there are levels of celibacy and experiencing wet dreams are a part of those levels.

When you begin semen retention you might have a wet dream once every second month, then once every third, every sixth, and so on. Just keep your eye on the ball. 

“Lack of spiritual practice is the main cause for all sexual attractions.” – Sivananda

Dark Side Of Semen Retention

“Some people, who observe celibacy for one or two years, become more passionate and waste the energy considerably in the end. Some people become incorrigible, moral wrecks also. “ – Sivananda

There is a dark side to semen retention. Simply put it can make you neurotic, nervous, anxious and at the extreme end, it can make you develop deep mental illness. This happens if you are retaining while still engaging in lustful thoughts and feelings. If you are retaining without transmuting the energy it causes energetic friction in the body. I know this from personal experience.

Also, keep in mind that there are references out there in which celibacy can cause sexual perversions. You don’t have to worry about this if you go about this the right way. 

Sexual Transmutation

Once you start transmuting the right way half of the battle is already won. You won’t have to struggle as much with lust, wet dreams, and lack of willpower. I will provide 3 methods in which you can use to transmute the sexual energy.

• Deep breathing
• Meditation
• Pranayama

Pranayama: Now I have little experience with pranayama but google is your friend if you wish to learn. It is sometimes called alternate nostril breathing. 

Meditation: Meditation is a solid method of transmuting energies. As you become skilled in both technique and duration you will start to breathe with your diaphragm during your sitting. The catch is that you have to sit for more than your standard 20-minute sessions. If you want to transmute sexual energies I recommend sitting for at least 40 minutes once or twice a day. This is for the real serious seekers.

Deep breathing: This is the best way for beginners. It is easy and doesn’t require as much time as a meditation. I have called it deep breathing for easy reading – but what we are talking about here is Qigong. Sometimes called Chinese yoga. You want to start with the basic form of Qigong. Which is called Zhan Zhuang.

It is a form that they say is great for a beginner and can be practiced for a lifetime. The thing about Qigong is that you have to do it every day. It requires consistency rather than duration. I advise you to start out with 5 minutes of standing and increase by 5 minutes every other week. Work your way up to 30-minute sessions. If you want to learn more about Qigong I have written a separate post on the topic. 

You Still Need To Work

Many folks out there on the internet believe celibacy is the endgame of a successful life. It is a foundation that you should strive to keep. But don’t mistake it for the only thing you should be working on. Like in other areas of life such as weightlifting for a better physique. Lifting weights alone won’t do much unless you have a diet, nutrition, and sleep in order too.

“Thoughts of worry and thoughts of fear are fearful forces within us. They poison the very sources of life and destroy the harmony, the running efficiency, the vitality and vigour. While the opposite thoughts of cheerfulness, joy and courage, heal, soothe, instead of irritating, and immensely augment efficiency and multiply the mental powers. Be always cheerful. Smile. Laugh.” – Sivananda

You need to do a transmutation exercise each day. You need to cultivate a positive and joyous state of mind, this means changing your thoughts and emotions. You still need to read biographies, self-development, and success material. Fill your mind with the right input and over time you will change your beliefs and perspectives in life. You will become a part of the few – the elite. There are various studies out there pointing to that we are predominantly negative. That needs to change through conscious effort.

“I’ve seen estimates that somewhere around  60 to 80 percent of our thoughts are negative. And if that weren’t bad enough, most of our thoughts are repetitive. I’ve read as high as 98 percent. That’s a lot of negativity.” – Thebestbrainpossible.com

You will not become an effortless genius like some material on the web point to. You will still feel resistance to doing or committing to dreams and goals. You still have to develop the right habits. You will still encounter obstacles in your work, etc. You get the point.

Celibacy Is Not The Cause

I am going to go about this carefully, there is a lot of spiritual garbage being thrown around on YouTube and the web in general. People claiming they opened their third eye or claiming some of the myths we talked about. Don’t get me wrong I believe we have massive potential as human beings. But developing various traits and abilities requires a lot more work than a 20-minute meditation session a day. 

I have experienced phenomena such as out-of-body experiences and even visions while meditating. This has been achieved without being celibate. A yogic master by the name of Sivananda has written books about the spiritual path and say that many abilities are the byproduct of a strong concentration. I find this to be accurate.

We are all different personalities with different lessons to learn in life – celibacy or not. Maybe some of you are navigating the world and social interactions through the head and need to develop your emotional self and your heart.

Some might need to develop individuality and go about your goals and dreams alone. You get the point. There are countless ways for a human to develop over a lifetime and I have witnessed people change as they enter their 30’s. These lessons will be mistaken for an effect of celibacy when in reality it is just the cogwheels of life happening.

What Will Happen

The first thing that will happen to you is an increased sense of energy. Not in any grand way but very subtle often not noticed until you have a fall. Meaning not noticed until you have a conscious emission. And trust me you will fail – a lot of times. 

A few of the things that have happened to me is that I am comfortable going about things alone. The usual addictions like validation through social media, dopamine hits from video games have little to no effect on me. I have become an avid reader of biographies and self-development. I have an internal fire to become great and to chase excellence.

I am slowly transforming into a producer instead of your average consumer. There is reading material out there suggesting that celibacy will increase your virtue and will to do good. I find this to be accurate. I often think about humanity and the ways I can contribute to a better society. I have a dream to make a lot of money so that I can at the end of my life give it away to the people who need it the most.

Once you start cultivating your mind too and filling it with positivity and happy thoughts you will start to become magnetic. I am not too sure about the mechanics of it but you will start to radiate positive energy and other human beings will pick up on it. I believe this can be achieved even without celibacy.

“The body follows the mind. If the mind thinks of falling from a height, the body prepares itself immediately and shows external signs. Fear, anxiety, grief, cheerfulness, hilarity, anger, all produce their various impressions on the face. “ – Sivananda

I have experienced bliss from a meditation practice consisting of 40-minute sessions twice a day combined with celibacy. It is a similar feeling to taking ecstasy if you have ever done drugs – which I don’t recommend.

There are not many references on the subject but as you plod along on your path with sexual transmutation your body will start to heal. There is a modern medicine theory that our bodies can hold on latent infections and diseases – once your body has the capacity to deal with these illnesses it will feel like you are becoming ill. These effects last only a few days at most and once over you will feel better than you did before. This concept is known as healing reactions and has been known by Indian and Chinese traditions for many centuries. Our own medical professionals are slowly discovering this function of the body.

Once you start transmuting your energy. Your face will carry a glow and your eyes will become shinier than usual.

Not All Sunshine

“A life of continence (celibacy) is really beset with difficulties.” – Sivananda

You have to take whatever is written here with a grain of salt. Your path will look different than mine and I am not sure if the events and situations described here are a result of celibacy. I am of the belief that you should cultivate positivity no matter what happens in life. Regardless of your sexual habits.

I have experienced many humbling situations in both work and personal life. It has felt like the universe wanted to destroy every ego based thought and emotion in order to build me up as a positive virtuous individual. A lot of people on the web describe celibacy as a fun ride. This is simply not the case. You might have beliefs and perspectives that need correction. If you continue on the path of brahmacharya (celibacy)I believe you will be put through tests and situations in order to grow.

I dont want to go into detail what has happened to me through sexual transmutation because I believe it has to be experienced. Stay positive and continue the path.

“You must mercilessly cut off all formalities in social life and lead a pious life” – Sivananda

I am getting used to doing things alone in life – I also put my efforts into doing something productive each day. Cultivating social relationships feels meaningless. Participating in banter and chatter is completely useless.

I hope this article contributes to the online discussion of celibacy, and enlightens the potential seeker. I hope you decide to become a celibate so that we can over time uplift our society, culture, and knowledge. Thanks for reading.

Until next time – Bogdan

I have a mighty exercise for you which will assist you in achieving more every day. You will find it different from the rest of the general advice out there. Its effects are noticeable for many after the first week. It will relax and energize you at the same time. It will boost concentration. It also works as an exercise. It is easy to learn. 

It was a tradition for thousands of years to keep the practice and techniques a secret within families. But over time certain individuals wanted to share this gift with as many people as possible. Nevertheless, even after decades of its exposure to the west, it has yet to enter the mainstream thought as Yoga or meditation has. We are talking about the practice called Qigong which means life energy cultivation.

Some will get thrown off by its spiritual aspects, but there is no belief required to reap its benefits. There are numerous statements across the web to its healing powers both on the mind and body. Having tried different practices like yoga and meditation. Nothing really beats the effectiveness of qigong. In fact, many have mentioned how it complements their meditation practice. 

More Than Just Exercise

“I have struggled with chronic fatigue, depression, and a lot of health problems. I have been meditating sitting for 6 years now and have had great progress and couldn’t live without it. But it wasn’t until I tried Qigong that I truly understood what was wrong with me and why I felt so shitty all the time.”

“A year has passed now and I have most of my energy and all my health problems have almost completely healed and still improving.” – Reddit user.

“Anxiety decreased significantly for participants practicing Qigong compared to an active exercise group. Depression was shown to improve significantly in studies comparing Qigong to an inactive control” – Study

The Benefits of Deep Breathing

If you look at how babies breathe, they breathe deep down to their stomachs. After a few decades of living in modern society, we forget how to breathe. You will find that most adults breathe shallow, breathing only with their chest. This has its consequences and is often a contributing factor to developing an illness later in life. Qigong is a practice of returning to deeps breaths combined with various poses. Here are some deep breathing benefits. 

• Decreases stress, increases calm
• Relieves pain
• Detoxifies the body
• Improves immunity

Once you start our own practice you will in time feel more grounded, focused, and productive. It’s a perfect aid to anyone who wishes to perform and achieve at a high level. The practice will allow you to work for longer hours, have more energy through your daily activities. Out of all the self-care practices, I have tried, Qigong is the clear winner.

Self Therapy

We have a western equivalent of Qigong called Bioenergetic Therapy – sometimes called “bodywork”. The main author of bioenergetics is called Alexander Lowen. He came out with the theory that our bodies and our minds are closer than we thought. We have a tendency of storing trauma and childhood experiences in our bodies in the form of chronic muscular tension.

 In our modern society, we learn to suppress feelings that are not socially acceptable. We condition ourselves to wear a mask for our peers. As years fly by we mistakenly believe the mask is who we are. Along with that, we might have developed psychological hang-ups both personally and in our social relations. Have a look at Alexander Lowen’s books if you want to learn more.  

The good part is that Qigong will aid you in becoming who you really are – without the mental baggage. As you progress in your practice you will start to feel tense parts of your body opening up and becoming soft again. Suppressed memories and emotions might flow through you for a short moment to be released forever. With these blockages opening-up, your psychological make-up will start to change. It is truly something you have to experience for yourself.

The Theory

You have probably heard of acupuncture, it is a practice of releasing blocks in the body’s energy channels or meridians. Qigong practice works on the same energy channels as acupuncture but without the needles. As the body’s energy systems get cleaner and your progress in your practice you will be rewarded with a happier, focused and stable state of mind among other things.

The name Qigong consists of two words Qi and gong. In the west “Life energy cultivation”. Qi sometimes called “chi” – means energy. The goal of qigong is to increase the flow of qi through the channels in the body and to store more of it inside the body. More precisely it gets stored right behind the navel. The storage point is called “Dan Tian”. It suggests that our bodies can work as a battery for bioenergetic energy.

Healing Reactions

Healing reactions are various symptoms your entire system goes through while detoxing. It is a sign of deep healing. Usually dealing with old infections, wounds, injuries, and other imbalances from the past. According to holistic medicine, we all carry latent diseases in our bodies such as toxins, yeasts, and parasites which is due to our processed diet. Along with that, we are exposed to much higher levels of heavy metals in our environment.

I have to say that this is something that is very real. I have tried various healing protocols such as heavy metal detox, liver flush,  coffee enemas and juicing programs. A healing crisis is very real and is something you have to experience for yourself instead of spending hours on the web reading statements from people who have never had to deal with autoimmune disease and similar.    

The body has a clever way of dealing with toxins in that it stores it deep in the tissues and organs for release at a time where the body has energy and resources to let it out for excretion through the bloodstream, liver, and kidneys. 

 Practicing Qigong will within weeks or months trigger healing reactions. The good thing is it will usually last for a short period. A few days at most. What are some of the things that can happen during a “healing crisis”?

Staying Youthful

The great thing about Qigong is that you don’t have to believe in any of it in order to reap the benefits. But like many others before you – with practice, you will probably start researching the topic on your own. For instance the energy we talk about cant be seen but it can be felt – in time when you practice you will feel a tingling sensation in your hands or other parts of your body.

As you age you will experience a dip in energy, those of us who have entered their 30s know what I’m talking about. This is a problem, especially if you have big goals or are already working as an entrepreneur. Different body parts stiffen up, health issues like weight gain are also common problems. 

Qigong will help you get an increase in energy – aiding you in your personal and professional life. I know this is a bold statement nevertheless its true.

 If you work up to 20-30 minute sessions a day you will experience it works as a physical exercise too. 
 Other things I have personally noted is smoother skin and a glow. Becoming supple even though I don’t stretch. Improved posture. Emotionally grounded. Deeper sleep.

How To Start

As you search the web for qigong and similar exercises you can find many free options and that is fine. That’s how I started my journey. But it might not yield the same results as a book written for beginners.

Saving you a lot of hours of research I highly recommend the book – The Way Of Energy by Master Lam Kam-Chuen. It is said that the exercises will give you something to work with for the next 2-3 years as a novice. And is the traditional way of starting a Qigong practice. I hope you try this out and I wish you good luck.

– Bogdan

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3085832/

Don’t be realistic

Yesterday I came across a blog that recommended you do only two things at a time or you risk becoming burnt out on all of your endeavors. Well, I have 6 things I do almost everyday and I’m perfectly fine. These are all new habits mind you. Its meditation, writing, piano, bass guitar, illustration, and exercise. 

I have always thoughts that being realistic is as boring as hell. I personally believe its just another form of resistance. And it’s going to be there every day to greet me. The remedy to this is to show up to your daily tasks and get them done. 

Who do you think will go further the dreamer or the person being realistic? Given enough time the dreamer will always get further ahead. Realistic is something we get taught by authority figures as we grow up. We were all born dreamers. And it’s important to keep it that way. 

Expand

One of the goals in life is to expand. We are designed to explore. We are meant to evolve. Our beliefs, values, viewpoints. All of them are meant to grow and become more refined as we grow older. That won’t happen without pressure. You can put pressure on yourself by dreaming big. And going after your dreams

Expansion requires you to develop will, persistence, and grit. You will become different from the 9-5 office worker who sits at his desk all day – taking orders and being a good boy. A worker drone. 

As Zig Ziglar said – something along the lines of life is hard but if you put pressure on yourself life becomes easy. Don’t you want to live an extraordinary life? Do you want to just go along like a leaf in the wind all the way to your death? I know this sounds extreme but I believe we are here to use our faculties. Our minds, emotions, and bodies can be wonderful instruments designed to create. To have an impact on our surroundings. 

Don’t limit yourself

By being realistic you will reach your goals and then what? You will most likely have something you’re not that proud of. You won’t have stretched that much. You won’t have created anything extraordinary.

Even if you don’t make it to your dreams you will have pursued something that excited you. Something which filled you up with energy, drive, and inspiration.

By dreaming big you will ignite passion. What if I make it? What else could I do that seems impossible right now? What if I continue down this road 5 or 10 years?

These types of thoughts rarely come to realistic achievers. They do however come to the dreamer. By chasing one dream you will get a ton of other dreams too. Thoughts are like magnets that attract more of their own kind. Dreaming big is like a muscle that needs to be trained. 

You will get more done

The dreamer given time – will always get more done than the realistic achiever. Big dreams are nothing else than having long term goals. Set that ridiculous amount of money as your goal. Set it to a date that will make you work harder. Chase learning that skill you so much desire. Try to do it in an unrealistic time frame. 

I know from personal experience chasing big dreams that my days are so much more productive and focused than what I would have achieved going after something realistic. 

The big dreams have a way of igniting your days with productivity and focus. Big dreams fill you up with fuel for the journey.

A secret I want to share with you is this – even if you don’t make it. You have done the right thing. Getting the dream is not the endgame. The final destination of your dream is to have a look at yourself and see how far you’ve come just by setting ridiculous goals. It will make you change your perspective on yourself and your faculties.  

Become a dreamer

So how do you become a dreamer? Believe it or not many people will feel an initial resistance to dreaming big. They might still hear voices from their childhood teacher or parents that have instilled realistic type of thoughts into your thought patterns. 

They might not believe their dreams themselves. One thing you could do remedy this is to write down your long term goals and dreams. And read it every morning and every night before going to bed. This will slowly acclimate your mind to accept the dream. Its a form of “positive brainwashing”. 

Another thing like everything else is to practice dreaming big. Think of things and goals that feel a bit uncomfortable. That’s when you know you are on the right path. Those feelings of discomfort will over time transform into positive and exciting emotions. 

Do exactly What You Want To Do

Dreaming big allows you to tap into what you really want in life. A thought experiment would be to think of what you would want to do in life if everything else was in the right place. If every obstacle was cleared? That’s where you will find your dreams.

Want to become so rich that you could help out impoverished countries? Great go for it. Want to become a famous singer? I say give it everything you have. 

Nothing not even age should limit your dreams. It’s never too late for anything. I personally believe everything is possible. It might be all the self-development books I have been reading.

Life is meant to be an adventure

Adventure in life comes from the challenge and stretching of the individual. It comes from choosing the road less traveled. It comes from chasing your big dreams and having long term goals. By chasing your dreams you will have to become something above the norm. You will have to develop uncommon character traits. 
If you go about your goal setting in the right way and go for something grand. The goal itself will chisel out you to become 10% in society. In time you will become a rare person.

And another great part is that the journey itself will bring you joy. Know that even if you don’t make it to your big dreams this means you have truly dreamt big and gone about it the right way. You can take a look at yourself and set new dreams that will make even more out of you.

I’ve written a post called Don’t Be A Sucker – Go Straight To The Source. Which reveals that everything you could need in a self-help context is out there for free. What I’m saying is everything that pertains to your inner world of emotions and thoughts and development of various personal qualities has to be done by you alone.

 A 6-day seminar cant solve all your mental issues and sticking points. For example – taking a course on becoming a social master will do little to nothing, hell even a book on the topic won’t do much but maybe point you in the right direction. 

 Also, keep in mind that the strategies taught at these personal transformation seminars can be found in a book for a few dollars rather than a few thousand.

You have to do the work yourself and it won’t be a quick fix. You might encounter deep-rooted negative self-beliefs, childhood traumas, etc. 

Its a bit different when it comes to learning something new like a new skill in a craft, software, and instruments, however. I’m all in for taking lessons and paying for an online course. So I think it is important to separate the two. And hopefully, my writing is clear to you.  

If your goal requires a certain skill set then you should strongly consider paying upwards of a few hundred dollars to speed up your learning curve. Trying to find free learning content on the internet and YouTube won’t nearly have the same structure and steps needed for a beginner. Also, the paid course will most likely take you further than the free content will.

What you are paying for is the solutions to the problems you will encounter in your learning progress. You are paying for the shortcuts. You are paying for the ability to overcome your next plateau. Essentially you are paying to become faster, stronger, and smarter in your chosen field.

For instance, I’m about to enroll in a 30-day course in writing. English is not my native language and my writing is terrible. Sure I have read books about blogging, and writing, how to make money online. But it has only left me more confused.

Where do I start? When do I use a comma, how is the structure of my sentences? What style am I writing in right now? Is this my voice? Do the articles line up with the purpose of this blog?

All these will be addressed in an online course, I get to have a personal mentor in a craft I’m brand new to. 

When the time comes. I’m going to enroll in a course to take piano lessons too. I dont want to learn how to play specific pop songs as is often taught on YouTube. I want to learn music theory I want to learn classical piano. I want to learn the foundation. Luckily there are courses for about 20 dollars that match my needs. 

I am going to work as a professional illustrator one day. And after I’m done with the free course I’m currently enrolled in I’m going to pay 10 dollars a month to have a mentor teach me figure drawing and portraits.

So I hope you will strongly consider paying a bit to get tenfold value back. We are in a very competitive market so you can acquire skills for a fraction of the price it was 20-30 years ago. Where you had to meet up and pay for lessons.

Until Next Time – Bogdan 

I am a very ambitious man. I love to dream big and set goals that reach high up in the skies. To complete each and every one of them will take me somewhere between 5-10 years. And I’m ok with that. Beats working for someone else in a soul-crushing office environment, where you have to deal with personalities you never would hang out with in your free time. 

A huge part of goal setting is chunking down your goals into mini-goals – or as I like to call them “mini victories” 

I’ve put on a lot of weight from being on medication. The fattest I’ve ever been. So I have set a goal where I exercise 6 days a week – that means running 3 times a week and doing Hatha Yoga 3 times a week. The Yoga sessions last for 10-15 minutes – and let me tell you for beginners that’s more than enough. 

I’ve decided that when I start to look reasonably good I will buy some ear bling to put in my left ear lobe. I’m gonna grow my hair long and wear a black bandana to go along with a nice zen pendant I bought off Etsy. It sounds funny but I have an entirely new look to go with my new physique. I’m going to look like the fucking man!

Its also going to be the right time to take a photograph of myself for this site and start shooting videos. Who would want to take self-development advice from a fat guy in his mid-thirties I certainly wouldn’t. 

 But only if I lose weight. Walking around with jewelry and long hair while im fat is going to make me look like a total moron. So that’s my treat to me, a small celebration if you will. An indicator that I’m committed and moving forward. 

One of my longterm goals is to be able to live as a music producer, selling songs and beats online for people to sing and rap over. I also want to get into producing background music for people to buy and use in their YouTube videos, etc.

The breakdown of my goal as a producer involves learning my chosen DAW – Digital Audio Workstation. Its called Renoise and can look daunting to a beginner. Once I’ve got the basics down – I’m going to take online piano lessons in the form of a course. Another stage in my journey requires a small victory. 

I’m going to treat myself with video equipment such as video lights and a tripod for my smartphone. This is so I can show my progress to my audience and maybe even recommend a course to budding artists. 

But my dreams don’t stop there. I want to be able to live as a illustrator too one day. At the moment I’m following a free course you can find on drawabox.com. Once I’m done with the free course I’m going to treat myself with a set of greyscale markers from a brand called Arteza. 

The next stage in my illustration journey involves finding a mentor over Patreon and to learn from the pros.

I can tell you that chunking down goals and visualizing yourself and your ideals on the journey help tremendously. 

I hope you got any value of this post. 

Until Next time – Bogdan 

I have been interested in spirituality and religion since I was a little kid. I remember searching for meditation instructions the moment we got internet in our house. 

All the religions and spiritual philosophies always share a set of rules or laws that the seeker must obey in order to progress on the path. 

At the highest level, it includes becoming completely celibate and giving up materialism.

Puberty hit and I became the complete opposite of what I strived to become – all these desires and lust for the opposite sex washed over me. Along with these powerful emotions came the materialistic wants. 

As I hit my early 20’s I had completely given up all spiritual inclinations. My hormones were raging – at the top of the list, I wanted to have sex with as many women as possible. And I wanted the top shelf ones.

I had a few chance encounters with one night stands and a few flirts here and there. But that wasn’t enough I wanted the women I found really hot. The ones that intimated me when I was younger.  

I hit my mid 20’s and the internet got saturated with guides and demos of how to pick up women. Not the ones from your social circle or office. But the ones that caught your eyes on the street or nightclub.  

 I worked hard at my career in graphics design, and animation, and was eager to live the good life – or at least what our society defines as the good life. But I didn’t make it. I always landed a shitty job, with a poor salary. 

I fucked away a few years – literally. As I hit my 30’s I found my sexual desire to slowly become satisfied. I had done everything I wanted to do, and with the right women. My spiritual tendencies started to get to the forefront again – only much stronger than before. Now the one thing I never achieved was financial independence.  

I know I know. They say money doesn’t make you happy. But like everyone else I want to find out for myself. I want to know how it is to be so well off you don’t have to think about how much something costs.

 I want several cars, motorcycles, a nice house, and apartments in warmer climates.

Money is often demonized, but remember you can help a lot of people if you have the right money. Like some rich people in history – I want to give it all away once I die. 

What do these topics have to do with spirituality? Well for one – once you achieve what your heart desires you realize how empty it is. I believe you need to exhaust all your desire to truly become free of them. 

Get rid of all the “what ifs” get all the women, get all the money. Buy all the shit you don’t need. Then and only then can you develop a laser focus in regards to spirituality. This is my belief. 

You won’t hesitate, the temptations will get that much smaller. 

Also remember that getting better with women requires you to change, becoming financially independent requires you to develop your character. Think of it as warming up for the “big show.”

Becoming successful in these areas of life has certain requirements. These requirements share the same qualities needed to become self-realized. And if we are to believe the Gurus and Yogis becoming a monk is that much harder than achieving worldly success. 

 If you cant win in the arenas of the world how are you supposed to become enlightened? Become successful here first – then chase the ultimate goal. 

Until Next Time – Bogdan

Every goal no matter how noble or attractive has to be supported by the daily grind – the daily grind is quite the opposite of what most imagine their dreams to be. 

As we envision our aspirations and dreams they are filled with positive emotions and qualities. “How wonderful my future is going to be!”

And that is good, we need that initial inspiration to get us started. Once you start your journey however you will get confronted with reality. You realize you don’t have all it takes – you might have to develop qualities within yourself such as will, grit, commitment, and mental toughness.

Starting something new like a habit or acquiring a new skill set will feel awkward and uncomfortable. This is called “the pain of discipline”. 

You might have to walk the road alone if it’s a personal vision. Your journey might be filled with solitude and quietness. Often I only hear my footsteps as I’m running. My breathing while I do pullups. The clicking noises from my keyboard as I write this article. It’s just me and my daily habits to reach my goals.

I never feel like its the right time or place to meditate, go out running, do yoga, write blog posts, or read self-development material. Its always feeling a bit weird until I get into the flow. That’s the small price we all have to pay in order to realize our dreams.

Walking the journey is far from being anything special or particularly wonderful – it’s quite the opposite. You will find it grounds you back to the here and now. The mind is continually forced to be engaged, to be creative, to think out of the box. This will all depend on what and how big your dreams are.

You will have to deal with setbacks, and personal demons creeping up. You could have self-esteem issues in regards to your goals. You might believe you cant change your station in life. Life might throw you a curveball making you lose your momentum towards your dreams. 

One thing is for sure and that is that the road to success and achievement is filled with resistance and discomfort. The path will continuously forge our capabilities and character. 

The daily grind will force you to look at some of your deeply held beliefs about humans, society, and life in general. Your philosophy and outlook might change. You will slowly grow wiser. 

I know I personally have had to change some of my values and beliefs about society and success.

There is no quick-fix solution to becoming successful, you will have to grow into a valuable person. To get the value you desire you will have to give value to others. You are rewarded in the exact same amount you are willing to be of service to others.

We are blessed to be living in our era, many people sacrificed their lives in order for us to have what we have today. Free content, books, and courses – all there to make your journey easier and faster. Take a minute to think about your blessings, and keep on grinding. 

Until Next Time – Bogdan

I have so many dreams and goals I want to accomplish. I want to lay on the deathbed and be able to look back on my life and say “I did everything in my power”. 

I’ve written my dreams down as both goals and affirmations, I read them out loud twice a day to keep the brain primed and aimed at the goal. I try to follow every advice given by self-development professionals. 

One of my goals was to write a 500-word post each day, six days a week. This blog is my first encounter with writing so I am a total beginner at this. And let me tell you – going from zero to a daily habit of practice and discipline is hard on the mind. Especially if its something new to you. 

Every morning six days a week I am filled with mild dread. What am I going to write about today? Is it original? Will it give any value to my present and future readers? 

One negative thought led to another and before I knew it I had procrastinated for 4 days straight – 4 days I will never get back. 

This is not my first encounter with resistance, in fact, it has been there my entire life. And the older I get the more I realize that falling off and getting back on is part of the learning process. You’re supposed to fall off.

 It’s a positive indicator that you have chosen worthy goals that will make you stretch and over time transform you as a person. 

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar

While you are in the inspired planning phase everything is seen through rose-colored glasses. There is only an upside. Once you actually go to work on your goals, you most likely will encounter pain, discomfort, negative thought patterns – you realize there’s an inner conflict. 

These demons are part of the process. They will go away once your competence and skills go up.

So the next time you are down and out remember that only losers quit – it’s a played out saying but that only because it’s true. 

There are countless great figures and icons in our society that had to go through the same difficulty and many times worse than what you are experiencing.

Luckily in our era there are strategies you can use right from the start to keep you motivated and aligned with your goals. You can use a favorite NLP technique of mine called “Circle Of Excellence” 

Instead of having to sit down in front of the computer with a knot in my stomach. I am instead filled with positive emotions focus.

The trick to any NLP technique is consistent practice, go through the instructions daily. Over time you will build up a reservoir of inner resources to assist you.

So Until Next Time – Bogdan

I have set quite a few goals for myself. Some of them are:

• Learn to write articles and posts in English
• Start a successful blog through which I can generate an income
• Learning illustration to a degree to where I get commissions
• Learning music production and sell beats online

I currently suck big time at all these crafts. You will find my writing to be sporadic and all over the place, yet I post 6 times a week. Every blog post starts out with a hand-drawn picture that looks like something a kid drew.

I’m still on the process of learning my chosen DAW which is short for – Digital Audio Workstation. It’s a fancy word for music software. After that, I will learn how to play the piano keyboard through books and online programs. My first beats will most likely sound like garbage.

All these skillsets will likely take years and years to develop to a professional level. It is said drawing alone takes between 5-10 years to learn to a proficient level, depending on how much time you dedicate. 

It’s often painful to look at the poor quality I put out there – but its a necessary evil. It keeps me motivated to improve, it cultivates a daily productive habit. It reinforces my commitment to my goals – it builds personal integrity. 

I admit it, I’m a dreamer –  but this is the life I want no matter the cost, and I want you to dream big too. Start putting yourself out there. Today. 

Post videos of your progress, join forums, and communicate with like-minded individuals and start sharing. Let the world know what you want – with some patience and hard work, you will reach your destination. 

What’s pretty neat is that we live in a time where you can reach mastery faster than ever before. And even in several fields, depending on how much you want to sacrifice in terms of work-life balance. 

 Imagine being born just 100 years ago, where you had to find mentor figures in person, at the easiest you could probably find a handful of books on your chosen craft. 

Thanks to the internet today you can find mentors and professionals in your chosen field competing with each other in order to deliver the most value, willing to teach you their tricks of the trade – which in turn cuts corners in your learning progress for just a few dollars.

If you think about you have always had to go through a messy learning curve. You learned to walk by falling and getting up numerous times. Your first words as a baby probably sounded like a foreign language. Your first handwritten pages in school most likely looked awful. 
As we grow up and get socialized we develop the ego and often get self-conscious in the process. We want to be perceived as being competent in life. “Mistakes and blunders are to be avoided!”

So don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty or what other people will think of you. You have a few decades at your disposal to become a better person and acquire skills. Start today.

Until next time – Bogdan